500th post...dingdingding

Oh boy! Who knew! My 500th post. Well i have no patience to write anything really profound. I am in waiting mode. waiting waiting waiting....waiting for my life to begin.waiting to be creative waiting to get healthy. all this waiting is making me grow old. i know everything out there says live today enjoy today be in he moment blah blah blah. well to do all that takes one thing called money! when one has no money you really can't spread your wings let alone just buy necessities like food and medicine. there is no wind beneath my wings only drudgery and boredom and sameness of one day bleeding into the next.I am still waiting for that gust of wind that will st me sailing...when will that be? hmmm its been "happening at any moment " now for 10 long hard years! promises were made schedules came and went...events came and went homes,cars, belongings came and went. Have been living out of a suitcase for 5 years now. don't have a place to call my own, don't have privacy, don't have peace of mind...but all i do have is hope and love...love for my children, husband and family. but love can only get you so far. it can't pay the bills, put food on the table or get medications. Hope can only get you to the next day. and the next and the next and before you know it 10 years have gone by with alot of hoping. We are off the radar off the grid have fallen between the cracks...can't get help from anywhere. If it wasn't for a few solid friends and relatives (who haven't shunned us yet) we could not have survived this long. Thank you most humbly.